My Worlds Collide

When I am away, I often feel like I lead a double life. I have this life at home that I miss dearly. My people, my places, my past and the home that I will return to... and then I have this life here. And one of the most beautiful, but weirdest parts about my life here is that no one at home really knows it. My people, in reality, have no idea what my life has looked like for the past six months. There is something very refreshing about this. I can go away and be whoever I want to be, independent from where I come from, but all the same, it is terrifying that the people who mean most to me can't picture the world I am currently living in. People try... they read my blog, stay in touch, ask questions, and listen to my stories, but this is a world you can't believe until you see it. This is a world that has changed my life forever, shaken up everything I know to be true, and altered my view of the universe.

How wonderful it was to have these two worlds collide in the tiniest bit for a few days this last week.

 

Though I missed the rest of the family being here... having Christina here was one of the most beautiful parts of my experience in Costa Rica yet. Getting to walk through the streets of the slums I have come to know and love so well, with my sister, the woman I admire and respect more than anything in this world, was a dream come true. Everyone loved her just as I expected them to. Going to the home of Nicole, a young girl who is helping her family overcome hunger, crack addiction, domestic violence and a state of poverty unlike any I have ever seen, and translating for she and Christina both as they shared their stories, their strength and their love with one another was one of the most powerful moments I have ever experienced. And watching as tears poured from Nicole's mother's eyes, overcome by the ounce of hope that she found in Christina's story. Hope for she and her family, as well as hope for this world.

How special it was to have my sister by my side, spreading love in this dark, broken place with me.

How special it was to have her meet my Tico family... the people who have loved and taken care of me so well for the past 6 months...

And special doesn't even begin to describe how it felt to have her accompany me as I took my six little girls to the beach; the first time five of the six of them had ever seen the ocean.

When people think of Costa Rica, the first thing they think of is beautiful vacation beaches, rain forests, and more birds and animals than we could ever imagine. The last thing we think of are the little girls who have lived here since birth, yet who have never left the slums they call home, much less imagined traveling to the beach. We don't think of the teenage mothers who go days without eating, giving all of their nutrients to the babies they're breast-feeding;
the little girls whose eyes grew large and happy as we told them they could eat as much as they wanted for breakfast, and who ate plates of food as if they'd never eaten before; the little girls who have been forced to grow up way too quickly, nevertheless spent hours on end crashing into the waves of the ocean, burying themselves in the sand, and enjoying a once-in-a-liftime chance to be happy, carefree and innocent;
little girls who have seen more violence, darkness and pain than you or I could ever imagine, yet are still so full of joy and just craving love.

 

 

 

Every time I am with these six girls, they teach me something new... from Joselin, proving that a teenage girl can overcome having no positive influences in her life, and find it in her own heart and soul to be the one of the most incredible, loving mothers I have ever seen; or Carolina, a girl who was closed off, angry, full of hate when I met her six months ago, and who with love, support, and knowing that people believe in her has blossomed into one of the most sensitive, caring, thoughtful girls I know. Six young girls who are all so very different, and who think I hung the moon, have showed me more about endurance, perserverance and strength than anyone ever has. And it was an honor to share a day with these six beautiful angels and my sister, as well. It was one of the most meaningful days I have yet to live.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6