Comfort

I keep finding myself in the same position...the day before another adventure, full of nervous energy, tingling with anxiety, overcome by a rush of bittersweet sadness and excitement. Each time I am here again, I wonder, what is it that brings me back to this place time and time again? What is that repeatedly draws me away from everything I love most in this world, and into the unknown? Why do I crave these adventures?

To tell you the truth, I think I am finally figuring out the answer: I am just too comfortable. Now don't get me wrong. There is nothing that I love more in this world than the security of my Nashville nest: the security, the love, the acceptance, the peace. I am twenty-two years old and have something here that people spend a lifetime searching for: a place where I am known and loved unconditionally. But still, I find my soul growing restless, longing for something.... and its pretty simple, really. After enough time feeling comfortable, blessed and loved, what I need is to go out and be challenged, and share my blessings and love with the rest of the world.

If you talk to Christina, she will tell you about her day-to-day experiences loving in the most uncomfortable places, nevertheless right in Nashville's back yard. She doesn't need to fly overseas to find what I am looking for; I hope I can say the same some day. But for some reason, today, the distractions of my day-to-day life here keep my heart from reaching that moment of complete and utter fullness. There is something about dirt floors, filthy children, desperate living conditions, and a culture so foreign from my own that finally allows my heart to overflow with love, joy and gratitude. I go to these places, I love on these people, and I experience a high unlike anything I have ever felt before; a high that comes from nothing more than vulnerable hearts and raw love. A high that I don't think we are capable of experiencing when we are too comfortable.

So tomorrow, I am going. I am going with the hopes that, as cliche as it sounds, I can be a small light in a dark place. I anticipate that the hardest part of this next journey will be that I am going to a place that my culture considers one of the best destinations for a vacation, to love on some of the most hopeless people. I am going to an island full of rain forests, mountains, and the most beautiful beaches - and believe me, I plan to visit them all on my days off.



But I am also going to a place where outside the resorts and National Parks are slums filled with poverty, addiction, neglect and abuse unlike anything I could ever imagine. The dichotomy will without a doubt be heart wrenching, but if I can leave a mark on just one life, it will be worth it all. And I am certain I will return with a stronger sense of faith, a clearer sense of self, a more definite sense of purpose from spending the next six weeks "Going and Loving."