Pensamientos

This week I have been mostly in my head. Though I was a little lonely in my room alone, it was probably a good thing that no other volunteers were at my home stay this week, because I had a lot of thinking to do... some big decisions I was trying to make.

Besides being a little more quiet than usual, my week went pretty well. I had a ton of time to study and read (in Spanish), I had a great time at my projects, and I am still loving my host family a little more every day. The seventeen year old girl from my project who was pregnant, Jocelyn, finally had her baby and both mama and baby boy are doing wonderful. Though I have yet to see either of them in person yet, I am thrilled to here all is beautiful, and see pictures of this angelic, innocent, beautiful child.

Because the end of their "quarter" is coming up, while one of my projects took their big test and gave a presentation, the other class was preparing and reviewing for their final. In my older class, I was even asked by the main teacher to take the full two hours, Friday and next Wednesday, to do a "counseling group" with the students. We have noticed that the majority of the students are really struggling with their sense of self, and have been having problems finding the drive to be motivated in any element of their lives, therefore I have had the best time racking my brain to pull out whatever self-esteem, self-worth, goal setting exercises I have come across throughout my 22 years on both sides of therapy. I am nervous, yet thrilled to see how these two "groups" turn out. I have a feeling they're going to go wonderfully.

So after that high, I was pleasantly surprised yet again after having an interview with the head of Boy with a Ball. After an intense half hour in a tiny room, where I probably lost a pound from both nervous, and hot sweat, I was handed an absolutely beautiful opportunity. Jose, the Tico man who runs Boy with a Ball in Costa Rica, welcomed me with open arms into their "family," and offered me the (unpaid) position of being Sergio's right-hand woman. In other words, he told me that I could basically be Sergio's wingman... help him with all of his projects... go into the homes and help the families with him... tutor the children with him... try to help make a difference in this little part of the world that is so desperately crying for help. Though at this point I am not sure what exactly this adventure will look like, I am thrilled to have the chance to have a more hands on role with the children/young adults I have come to love so dearly.

With all of these beautiful blessings popping up out of nowhere, my mind began rumbling around a whole lot. I was having thoughts that were taking me in all different directions, that were making me overwhelmed with excitement, fear, anxiety and happiness, and I spent a lot of time in praying, begging God to help me make the right decisions.

After talking to Daddy Rodes last night, I believe I have finally made up my mind: I am going to defer Graduate School at Peabody for a year and stay here in Costa Rica. Since my first trip to the Dominican Republic, when I fell in love with the process of both learning how to navigate through the waters of new cultures, and helping those in desperate need, I have dreamt of moving to another country and doing nothing but loving on people who need it more than you or I could ever imagine. And though my plan was to do this after grad school, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I believe that I was placed in this beautiful community within San Pedro, with the most loving family in the world (besides my own), and given the opportunity to work with a Christian organization that serves people in the exact way I have always dreamt of serving for a reason. And therefore, I am going to welcome this opportunity with open arms, and I am confident this is going to be another unexpected, yet beautiful chapter of my life.

After talking to my Tico family, who begged me not to get an apartment and to stay with them instead, I have decided that I am going to come home July 26, sort out all of my responsibilities at home, get my number one man (Cooper), love on all my people at home, and then come back. Once I return, I plan to become fluent in Spanish, share my heart with as many people as humanly possible, explore more of the beautiful landscape in Costa Rica, and giggle as I watch Cooper make friends with sweet little Bianca, my host family's dog. (I already checked to make sure it would be smooth and seamless for Coop... Thank God that he doesn't have to go into quarantine and there are no other hoops to jump through, because I couldn't go on this adventure without him.)

Though it breaks my heart to think that I am not going to be just a couple of miles away from all the poeple I love most in my life, that I am not going to be around during the first few months of Dr. HH's beautiful new girls' lives, that I won't be there to celebrate the birthdays of four of my favorite people in the world (dad, Christina, Tommy and Page) and that I won't get to participate in the day-to-day lives of you all, I truly believe that right now, this is where I need to be. My heart has made it clear that this is the next chapter that God has written for me, and, though terrified, I am going to take a huge leap and just hope I make it out alive and smiling on the other side; I am confident that I will. I am confident in the fact that this chapter in my life is going to provide me with experience, and fluency in a second language, both of which will help me to touch even more lives at home.


I look forward to sharing this experience with you all.